The Artist’s Life: Self-Doubt
For sometime now, I’ve considered posting in this quiet corner of the internet which I call my own about my experiences and struggles and thoughts on being an artist. I personally find a lot of solace and help in the words of other artists, these words help me feel less alone in a career that requires me to be alone often.
I’m sure I am not alone when I say that my biggest struggle daily is with self doubt. Every morning I start my day by wondering why I think I’m cut out for this work and each night I go to sleep feeling convinced that I’m never going to get anywhere. Every moment of my day is spent pushing against overwhelming self-doubt. I feel my greatest skill at this point in my life, is being able to pursue this dream so doggedly despite these feelings.
I see a lot of artists around me get bogged down in self-doubt or overthinking what being on this path should look like. I wish that I had some magick spell that could dispel these feelings for them and for myself. The only magick I have that helps however, is in the act of making art. While I’m making work, the doubt does not quiet down, but I feel like in defying it and making work despite its ceaseless darkness I find some peace. In rebelling endlessly against my own inner critic, I feel a sense of power.
Staying active in the creative process is the only way to tame self-doubt. Trying not to allow it to slow you down or prevent you from you creative work. Finding ways to bring your creative work into more of your day so every spare moment becomes an act of defiance to your inner monsters.
So there it is, my first rather clunky attempt at sharing some of my thoughts about my process and experience. Unless self-doubt gets the better of me and I delete this post, there will probably be more.